Inadequacies vs. Truth

                                                                Hey love,

I know that you know, that you are beautiful

And that your smile lights up your eyes

I know that you are perfection and imperfection

Intertwined making you such that words are not enough to describe you.

I know that you stand in front of the mirror, and you tell yourself

‘That you are beautiful’, ‘that you are wonderfully and fearfully made’

I know you put on that gown, and your eyes tell you all you need to know,

Your mirror tells you all you need to hear, with whispers of praises

And most importantly I know that you step out

With your shoulders bent, uncertainty shining in your eyes, your defensive mechanisms

Your armor, I know that when you walk you try to be bold and confident

In fact you almost fool us, no, I almost fool them

Forgetting that fear can be smelt

And that these Lions who live by these impossible standards

Will happily drink my blood.

What I don’t think you know

Is the fact that these mirrors of society are broken and two faced

The cracks showing that these people are happy, what about the parts we do not see?

What about the tears we do not see? The pain we do not feel?

The hustle in silence? Why do you, no, I, in fact we. Why do we choose to be blindsided?

Why have we allowed struggle equate shame?

Why have we lived in shame? Hiding what we are, struggling to fit into

Shapes and forms we weren’t made for, why do we lose ourselves?

Wearing confidence in secret, letting self-doubt and insecurity lead in the open

When will you find you?

When will I find me?

When will acceptance be the commodity in this market called life?

When will your potion be embraced as yours only?

2. I promise,

I promise to break through mediocrity

And make tomorrow better than today, because today is lost

I promise to break through the whispers of inadequacy;

The taunts of these invisible men, their eyes making my solid turn liquid

And my confidence to disappear.

I promise to ignore the standards that exist, the ones set by society and its forever rise.

I promise to ignore you, yes you, because you make me feel inadequate

And maybe it’s not even you, maybe I just need to build my confidence

Lol, I said build, like it even exists. I should create my confidence, a habitat,

My safe house, where the endless competitions wouldn’t reach me and where

I get to be me fully, where I get to be loved wholly, and where unconditional acceptance is served.

All of these promises, all of these things that I wish to do

This life that I wish to build, where I can be me, showing my spots,

Roaring as I like, where races are for leisure and not to prove anything

And love is the talk of the day, in fact of life, dreams I so badly want to come through.

But how? How do I make this life? And how do I live this life?

If I think it enough will it happen? Or maybe if I speak of it always it will materialize,

Why are there no steps to a happy life, where are the do’s and don’ts?

Don’t envy your neighbour, be content, be happy where you are and take one step at a time!!!!

How do I not envy? How can I be content? How do I draw the line between staying power and mediocrity? One step?? When these people are flying!?

When will this life I wish and dream for happen?