Transportation Palava.

I live in the Capital. For clarity, I reside in Abuja the city of hustling, bustling and mad road men. These mad road men that I speak of have made it their goal to ruin my trust in road activities. They are the only reason my house is safer and better than the outside.

I do not have a car and if I did, ‘me no fit drive’. The roads of Abuja will always be either too smooth or too rough. The steering wheels and tires of these machines that the ‘oyinbo’ man has brought to us will remain my enemies. I will walk, and in the process burn some calo calo. I’d rather walk than leave my life's longevity to these mad men.

See, in this madness thing there are ranks. Taxi drivers come last in this pyramid, I am convinced that they have been told that only those who speed will make heaven. That is the only explanation I have for the racing of my heart each time I take one. A close second goes to ‘keke na pep’ drivers, I leave them at the feet of God, the Judge of all. Finally, the Kings and owners of Abuja roads, ‘okada’ men. Ah! As a matter of fact, I believe that they have an association and there are meetings held with my picture with a goal  to frighten me.

I promise you; I’m not lying there is proof. Let me tell you, my story.

Two days ago, I had to rush to my sister’s school to give her something that she needed for her exam, the exam was for 8:00 am and my landlords told me some minutes to 8- the thing is I don’t do anything impromptu and because of this if you saw me on the road that day, you might have questioned if it was me. Days like that leave me thinking I have a second nature, ‘a bambiala’ nature. I walk out of my estate gate and stop the first bike man I see, ‘oga small small’ oh, is the first thing I say, because it is not like this I will go and meet my Jesus.

He nods his head and I struggle to climb his instrument of movement as usual, and hold on to the metal behind me (rear grip), if you’ve seen me, you know how small my hands are- I strongly believe the only thing a person has to hold on to so tight is a relationship God, but I did not want to fall. It was either that or hold the ‘okada’ rider, if you gerrit you do! If not, another day. My hands were sweaty and my heart was going faster than flash could ever.

We proceed to take the shorter route, and my people, the bumps on that road had my bum lifting severally from the seat and my leg slipping from the area provided for legs (footpeg). ‘Ahn, is it like this I will go?’ ‘I’ve not even told the man I like how I feel about him, and we would’ve worked oh’, ‘so, like this I will never collect allowee’ these are a few of the thoughts that ran through my mind. I’ve not even lived at all at all. Ahn no. these men are wicked.

I got to the school oh! my brethren, asked the man to kindly wait for me so that he will take me back. Bear in mind that this young Lady’s school is on a hill, ahnn, what if like Jack and Jill I came tumbling down? What next? It even appeared to me that the man thought to himself, if this girl survived the first round, this will be nothing. Na so Oga enter gear 1million. If he was flash before, lightening was what he became. To think I was busy saying small small, and making exclamations so he’ll get a hint and slow down. He did not slow down oh.

That is how the journey ended oh, I got to the gate of my estate and gave him his money. Guess what? His ears were plugged through out the journey! Listening to music, how was he even hearing the horns? These men are not of this world, they belong somewhere in between the clouds.

Brethren! In all get wisdom, and avoid the actual owners of Abuja roads!