Wishes upon pain.

 

 

I AM

Triggered. That’s what I am- that’s how I feel, there’s no other word to describe it, no other adjective will do it justice. The second it takes for a hand caressing a gun, and a finger to romance the trigger, is the second it takes for your presence to make me undone.

WANT

I want to call this piece stupid, but I’m yet to decide whether it’s because of how you make me feel, or it’s another way to describe you.

I despise you, and yet 'despise’ is too much a word, with emotion too great- as opposed to your irrelevance.

Sometimes your audacity surprises me, and when you look in the mirror, I want your foolishness to scream in laughter at you.

WISH

Dear- sorry, that’s a lie.

Deer, so I’d shoot you in the name of hunting. But no, you aren’t dear to me.

Despised, Mr. Stupid.

I hope you woke up today with a smile on your face, but with a heart that’s full of torment.

I hope that tomorrow when you go to bed, it’s after a bottle of pills.

I hope that your decisions hunt you- like a Lion to it's prey.

Frankly speaking, I don’t want you happy.

 

YOU

There is no proper way to express the pain in my heart, or the storm my tears have caused.

Like a red hanky, before a bull- you showed me ‘love’

And like an alcoholic to Hennessy, you intoxicated me with what could be.

I hope you experience it too.

This is why I say that maybe I was stupid- because you became all I had,

But since, this was nothing but a game of cards- the king is what you were,

 Now I have nothing, likened to a stray broom stick, somehow away from the bunch.

I want to wake up, and hear something happened to you- and I hate it

I hate it because it dresses my heart with burden.

You make me want to stand a hill and scream- ‘tis too much!

This pain is unbearable.

I’m an open zip, in need of closure.

Other times I want to walk up to you, and ask why?

I want to ask- what it was about me, that made disrespect like taking a breath in.

You awaken things I thought I had buried, and pain I thought I was over.

I hope you someday know how it feels to long for something.

And so, like wishes upon a star, but this wish drunk with pain- it’s almost a prayer

 I wish for your disappearance.

WIN

Take your award- have your medals.

Blow the trumpets! Your poker expressions- and your silence

Aided you, I’d have never seen it coming!

Congratulations!! The king of cards, a happy life and many cheers.

From the recipient of your stupidity.