FRAGILITY or something like that

 

If you had asked me last year, I’d have told you

That nobody would ever see me finish.

I have come to tell you my loves, that I have been SEEN.

Like an onion, I have many layers, we all do-

And I used to be so scared,

 Completely frightened of letting people,

See all of me.

Soaked in awareness of my flaws, and if I felt and breathed them so much,

How much more you?

And so, I tied my tongue, keeping all truth contained

Modifying all of my words, till they weren’t mine anymore

Saying maybe, when I meant NO.

Bending and twisting my standards, till they weren’t standards anymore

And sometimes, I wasn’t sure who I was,

And if I wasn’t, someone else was sure to define me;

 Timid  to some, confident to others-

There were times that contempt reigned, each part showing,

Depending on who I was with.

My life was void of identity, better that, than to;

 Love without restrictions and end up in pain.

And so, this was me; battling with truth that threatened to spill

And with the love that I was capable of.

 

In all of these, fragility soared,

Because a person cannot be completely without truth,

And so, the little part of me that wanted to care,

 without restrictions, was so desperate to be seen!

Searching in every window, the ones that never lie,

For words with no voice.

Words that speak of being antiques, to be loved

And to be special, carried with care- and saved.

Because ‘tis what I desire.

 I thought I had it!

I could’ve sworn, I found it!

Hence, the see finish.

Like a boomerang, all of my expressions of fragility, thrown back to me!

And that’s okay. I’ll try again.

Because the freedom that comes with being yourself truly,

When you wear honesty, sashaying in it - freeing yourself of pretense

It’s like, jumping off a cliff.

Only experience, can tell it all.